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For when your thoughts are drifting to things not so movie, or if you're feeling trivially inclined.
591

Quick Reads
Topic by: woozy
Posted: July 6, 2006 - 7:27 PM PDT
Last Reply: July 7, 2006 - 5:08 PM PDT

author topic: Quick Reads
woozy
post #1  on July 6, 2006 - 7:27 PM PDT  
Oedipus the King, Oedipus at Colonus, and Antigone
by Sophocles

Everyone in Athens: Ewwww, you killed your dad, married your mom, and had three kids?!
Oedipus: I didn't mean to!
(Everyone dies)
THE END
(Elyse B. New York)

A Series of Unfortunate Events
by Lemony Snicket

Mr. Poe: Your parents died.
Orphans: Woe is us.
Count Olaf: I want you money.
Orphans: You can't have it.
(Count Olaf does mean things.)
Orphans: Things can't get much worse.
(They do.)
THE END
(Andrea M., age 13, Arizona)

Pride and Prejudice
by Jane Austen

Elizabeth: I hate you.
Mr. Darcy: I love you.
Elizabeth: I changed my mind!
THE END
(Stephanie D., age 13, Texas)

The Lord of the Rings
by J.R.R. Tolkien

Frodo: Oooooo, I luuuuuuuurrrrrvvvvvvveee my pretty shiny ring!!!!!!!!!!
Gandalf: Actually, it's an evil, mind-eating wheel of fire that will turn you into a zombie.
Frodo: Darn!
Sauron: ME WANT RING! ME HAD IT FIRST! WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Frodo: No!! You can't have it! I'll throw it in a volcano, so there!
(does so)
Frodo and Elves: We sail across the sea, TRA-LA! We sail across the sea!
THE END
(Rachel B., age 13, Illinois)

Harry Potter
by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter: Boohoo. Voldemort killed my parents. I'm so sad.
Dumbledore: Oh, that's nice. Now you have to kill Voldemort.
(Harry finds Voldemort. They fight. Someone dies.)
THE END
(Thomas P., age 15 Georgia)
woozy
post #2  on July 7, 2006 - 5:08 PM PDT  
Pride and Prejudice
by Jane Austen

Jane Bennet: I'm in lave with a rich man who just got into town. He also has a super-rich friend named Mr. Darcy ...
Elizabeth Bennet: But Mr. Darcy is a sefl-absorbed creep.
Mr. Darcy: Am not.
Elizabeth Bennet: Are too.
Mr. Darcy: Will you marry me?
Elizabeth Bennet: OK.
THE END
(Nora T., age 12, Iowa)

Heidi
by Johanna Spyri

Heidi: Even though I am a poor orphan living in a shack in the cold, windy mountains with only my grandfather and some goats and that Peter, I am nice and innocent and happy ALL the time.
Clara: Even though I am very rich and live in the city, I am not as happy as Heidi. Plus, I am lame and sickly.
Heidi: Come live with me in my desolate shack and I will teach you to walk and be happy.
(Peter wrecks Clara's wheelchair.)
Heidi: Yay! Clara can walk! She doesn't net the wheelchair anymore!
Clara: Yay!
Peter: Not fair!
THE END
(Meredith S.)

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