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Awesomely bad
	Topic by: Cosplayer Posted: August 23, 2004 - 6:09 PM PDT Last Reply: November 15, 2004 - 9:45 AM PST

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author	topic: Awesomely bad
Cosplayer	post #1  on August 23, 2004 - 6:09 PM PDT   Get psyched for a new game! The object is to come up with a plot for the worst movie ever!!!! You can throw in details about whatever else you want. (special effects, casting...ect.) a winner will be announced every 2 pages. Are you ready?
woozy	post #2  on August 23, 2004 - 6:51 PM PDT   A man tries to get his book of poetry "Odes to lumps of fungus between my toes" published but after an hour and a half of rejections from publishers and his girlfriend leaving he spends his life savings to self-publish and it's on the New York Times best seller list for 60 weeks in a row and he makes a thousands of dollars and his girlfriend comes back and he kicks her out for having the gall not to believe in him. (or would it be better or worse if he took he back and said "I still love ya, kid"?)
woozy	post #3  on August 23, 2004 - 8:13 PM PDT   Too late! I just rented Timeline and after 9 1/2 minutes deemed it utterly unwatchable. I don't think anything we create could possibly be worse than this.
underdog	post #4  on August 23, 2004 - 10:02 PM PDT   > On August 23, 2004 - 6:51 PM PDT woozy wrote: > --------------------------------- > A man tries to get his book of poetry "Odes to lumps of fungus between my toes" published but after an hour and a half of rejections from publishers and his girlfriend leaving he spends his life savings to self-publish and it's on the New York Times best seller list for 60 weeks in a row and he makes a thousands of dollars and his girlfriend comes back and he kicks her out for having the gall not to believe in him. > > (or would it be better or worse if he took he back and said "I still love ya, kid"?) > --------------------------------- Did you say this prospective film took place in real time? Because that would certainly win my vote. Hm. If I wasn't writing a real screenplay right now, one I hope doesn't qualify for this, it's hard for me to think straight (or, crooked). C
SonjaBlue	post #5  on August 23, 2004 - 10:27 PM PDT   First Gradalis, now Underdog. How nice it is to see you both on the boards at night... Will this become a habit?
Cinenaut	post #6  on August 24, 2004 - 8:15 AM PDT   A movie about a guy procrastinating writing a sreenplay by posting on discussion boards. Oops, Adaptation has already been made!
dh22	post #7  on August 24, 2004 - 9:47 AM PDT   > On August 24, 2004 - 8:15 AM PDT Cinenaut wrote: > --------------------------------- > A movie about a guy procrastinating writing a sreenplay by posting on discussion boards. > > Oops, Adaptation has already been made! > --------------------------------- Oh, for a second I thought you were talking about Underdog.
woozy	post #8  on August 24, 2004 - 10:36 AM PDT   UnderDog, the movie. Starring Jason Alexander as the tormented Shoeshine Boy, torn between career, his troubled relationship with his ex-girlfriend and estranged son, and his compassionate need to save the world. Christina Ricci plays Sweet Polly Purebred, Ace Reporter and single mom, still in love with lack-luster Shoeshine Boy but afraid his self-doubt is holding her back and a bad influence on their son, Sonny Boy, played by and inanimate sack of flour. When Simon Bar Sinister, played by a much too tall Gary Oldman, after inventing and selling the immensely popular self jogging and tap-dancing athletic and dance shoe threatens to use remote controll to turn all shoes on to cause a massive plague of tap-dance with enough toe-tapping power to knock the earth out of orbit. Shoeshine and Polly forget their inner doubt and spring to action.
underdog	post #9  on August 24, 2004 - 10:46 AM PDT   > On August 24, 2004 - 9:47 AM PDT dh22 wrote: > --------------------------------- > > On August 24, 2004 - 8:15 AM PDT Cinenaut wrote: > > --------------------------------- > > A movie about a guy procrastinating writing a sreenplay by posting on discussion boards. > > > > Oops, Adaptation has already been made! > > --------------------------------- > > Oh, for a second I thought you were talking about Underdog. > --------------------------------- Hah hah. I don't have a twin brother who is also a screenwriter - although I sort of wish I did. Yes, I'll be on these boards late at night only while still procastinating, er, working on this puppy, er script. And Woozy, that was brilliant but it also makes me suicidally depressed. Partially because (after Rocky and Bullwinkle) I could almost see that pitch selling to someone in Hollywood. Followed by "Tennessee Tuxedo: The Motion Picture"
woozy	post #10  on August 24, 2004 - 10:49 AM PDT   > > Followed by "Tennessee Tuxedo: The Motion Picture" > who plays Chumley?
underdog	post #11  on August 24, 2004 - 1:27 PM PDT   > On August 24, 2004 - 10:49 AM PDT woozy wrote: > --------------------------------- > > > > Followed by "Tennessee Tuxedo: The Motion Picture" > > > who plays Chumley? > --------------------------------- Was Chumley the Walrus? How about that guy who played the mouth-breathing lummox moron in the LADYKILLERS remake?
woozy	post #12  on August 24, 2004 - 1:49 PM PDT   > Was Chumley the Walrus? Yes, although Chumley is actually spelled something like (but not quite) Cushlamochree. >How about that guy who played the mouth-breathing lummox moron in the LADYKILLERS remake? > The Tom Hanks should play Tennessee Tuxedo. We are trying to make a bad movie here. So what's the plot? TT here's a rumor that his long lost father might still be alive so he sets off across the United States having wacky adventures? So anything more on the rumor that Russel Crowe is reading the script for the Three Stooges Movie and is considering playing Moe?
Cinenaut	post #13  on August 24, 2004 - 2:51 PM PDT   Green Acres: The Movie: Starring Christopher McDonald as Oliver Wendell Douglas and Jessica Simpson as Lisa Douglas, with Ashton Kutcher as Eb Dawson, Alan Cumming as Hank Kimball, J.K. Simmons as Sam Drucker and Tone Loc as Mr. Haney. Fish-out-of-water couple Oliver and Lisa Douglas move to Hooterville and meet the wacky inhabitants. Hilarity ensues when Oliver drops a hammer on Lisa's head and she gets amnesia. Oliver has to court her all over again. Holy Cow! Now I know where the plot from 50 First Dates came from!
Cinenaut	post #14  on August 24, 2004 - 3:07 PM PDT   Arnold Ziffel character animation: Industrial Light and Magic. Arnold Ziffel's voice: Sean Hayes
Catullus	post #15  on August 24, 2004 - 3:54 PM PDT   "A sci-fi actioner in which the inhabitants of a mid-27th century world come under attack by the evil Kilrathi Empire. The crew of the TCS Tiger Claw must distract the Kilrathi while reinforcements arrive to save the day." Wait a second that sounds a lot like the plot of wing commander the worst movie of all time I win by default, unless cheating keeps me from winning.
woozy	post #16  on August 24, 2004 - 4:02 PM PDT   >>wing commander the worst movie of all time > I dunno. I had really bad insomnia last night and I watched a rerun of Becker sooner than I'd watch the second ten minutes of "Timeline" last night. I probably would have been able to sit through Wing Commander. Not that, I'd actually rent it mind you...
sinisterguffaw	post #17  on August 24, 2004 - 4:39 PM PDT   Two older women, upset about the difficulty they've had in recieving their diabetes medicine in a safe, affordable, and convenient manner, are pleasantly suprised when they discover this fancy new "front-door" service that Wilford Brimley haucks on the television. Then, on the day of the first delivery, who should be ringing their doorbell, but Mr. Brimley himself! Only he seems to be empty handed. "Where's the medicine?" the ladies ask. "I've got you're medicine right here, ma'am." and he proceeds to make pornographic love to them right then and there. But after the gratuitous half-hour love scene, they are interupted by a precocious teenager who keeps addressing the camera as if he's Ferris Bueller. Only instead of making witty comments, he shamelessly plugs his next album, movie, or product endorsement. It's Aaron Carter, and he's wearing a Kevlar body suit inside of a popemobile-esque golf cart with a titanium frame. This keeps him safe from the many assasination attempts that people with actual taste and values have made.
artifex	post #18  on August 24, 2004 - 9:26 PM PDT   > On August 24, 2004 - 1:49 PM PDT woozy wrote: > The Tom Hanks should play Tennessee Tuxedo. We are trying to make a bad movie here. There's no reason why we can't follow Mae West on this. Bad can be even better. Unless, of course, Bette Midler plays Mae West.
woozy	post #19  on August 24, 2004 - 10:33 PM PDT   >> Unless, of course, Bette Midler plays Mae West. > --------------------------------- We can invent a compulsive anal network exec boss for Polly Purebred's boss played by Bette Middler in UnderDog, the Movie. This thing would write itself, if only my brain would stop trying to throttle itself. Or Bette Middler could play Chumley's mother in TTtmp.
artifex	post #20  on August 24, 2004 - 10:42 PM PDT   > On August 24, 2004 - 10:33 PM PDT woozy wrote: > Or Bette Middler could play Chumley's mother in TTtmp. That sounds perfect for Kathy Bates, actually.

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