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561

Going Undercover!
Topic by: sinisterguffaw
Posted: April 13, 2004 - 10:50 AM PDT
Last Reply: April 24, 2004 - 5:53 PM PDT

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author topic: Going Undercover!
sinisterguffaw
post #1  on April 13, 2004 - 10:50 AM PDT  
There's this chinese food restaurant down the street from my place; a little mom & pop joint. I've been there a number of times now and I think it's yummy! The hostess there is sooooo nice! Sometimes TOO nice... and ever since the first time I met her I wondered why a young Japanese woman was working in a chinese restaurant. Were my eyes decieving me? Is she, in fact, Chinese? I had to find out.

At my next opportunity, I struck. I put on my new red shirt. Across the front of the shirt it read "I am Hentai" in kanji. I think it was kanji anyway. Either way, it was in Japanese. Above the phrase was a picture of the man whose face was on the 1000 yen bill. He is apparently the man who wrote the famous phrase "I am Hentai" in a book. The phrase is mysterious because it can also be translated as "I am a cat," or so the shirt label tells me.

So I head for the restaurant for lunch with some friends. The hostess, as cute as ever, seats us. This time she lingers, staring for a moment at my shirt. As we take our seats, she pokes me in the belly! I was taken aback! For a moment I had forgotten my purpose, distracted by her flirtation, but as I looked down to inspect my tummy, I realized my mission was nearing completion. She had poked the japanese letting on the shirt. Then, giggling, she spoke.

"Is that man crazy?" referring to the man pictured on the shirt. "Tee hee!"

"Yeah, I guess he is!" I responded.

I pose to you now two questions. The first question is presented in multiple parts: A) does that response mean she is in fact Japanese? And if so B)What is a Japanese woman doing working at a Chinese restauraunt? Perhaps she, too, is undercover?

As for the second question: does this innocent flirtation mean I should wear my kanji "Confident in my Sexual Powers" shirt next time?
AFleming
post #2  on April 13, 2004 - 11:14 AM PDT  
I don't know about the question of whether she's Japanese or not, but as a girl, I want to warn you, telling/implying to a girl that you are good lay isn't a good pick up line! She'd likely laugh at you and then laugh about it to her friends. Not to be mean, but what would you do in that sort of situation (if you were a girl, I mean)? I once had a guy from my department ask me to participate in a 3-some with him. The same guy told another girl in the dept that he was "well endowed" (my words, not his, lol). In his defense, he was pretty drunk both times, but we girls had a pretty fun time telling those stories to the other girls in the dept (see how this can snowball?)

I totally want you to score! You seem really nice. But the best way to pick up a girl is just to be yourself, but also to realize that you can't necessarily act the same way you do around your male friends, especially at first (you know, fart jokes, etc. Blatant talk about screwing- that can really scare away many girls who may think you're only wanting one thing.) Girls generally don't think about sex all the time like guys do. Go watch some shoujo anime. That's what girls want. Of course, we realize that you can't all be knights in shining armor, but some guys have a knack for seeming that way. Be nice and curteous. Make her laugh. DON'T tell her you want to sleep with her. That's a given, it'd be tasteless to say it outright.

Sounds like she might be into you. She IS a waitress though, so you can never tell. I used to wait tables at a bar/restaurant which was a lot of fun. I get along well with drunk guys, lol. I even had my "regulars" that would always sit in my section and flirt with me. But I was never into them.

Anyway, have fun!
sinisterguffaw
post #3  on April 13, 2004 - 11:36 AM PDT  
Thanks for the advice and support!

The shirt thing, however, would be meant as a joke. First of all, it's in japanese, and I don't come across as a man who knows how to read japanese. mostly because I don't. And secondly, I am most certainly not "confident" of anything. Really, if I was going to try to put the moves on her, I'd be much more sly about it.

So here's another story that happened just yesterday when I was at lunch. A coworker and I were at Carl's Jr. She ordered first, then went to find a seat. Then I ordered. But before I could order anything, the girl taking the order said "You've got really pretty eyes."

Stunned, I mustered the strength to respond "You think so?"

"Oh yeah! Really pretty!"

"Thanks. I work them out." I said.

"How do you work them out?" she asked.

"I do a little of this," and I glared off dramatically to my left, "and a little of that" and glared to the right.

And then I placed my order.

I let that one go. Almost went for the phone number exchange, but alas, it was probably too soon. about a half hour later, when I was back at work, I realized what gusto it took for her to say that to me, especially since it was just me and a girl (who for all she knew could have been my girlfriend) at lunch. It was also at about this time I thought to myself "Oh man! I shoulda asked if she wanted to have a staring contest!"

The best ideas always come too late.
dh22
post #4  on April 13, 2004 - 12:07 PM PDT  
It sounds like the t-shirt is more cute than "annoying pickup artist." She probably digs you. I say you've got your foot in the door. But it sounds like you had even more of a foot in the door with the other girl.

Oh, and I think the japanese chick is working at the chinese place cause you live in utah and most of them probably couldnt tell the difference between a japanese girl and a chinese girl, and the restaurant's owner probably couldnt find any relatives crazy enough to move to utah.

BTW, are you becoming one of those annoying little anime kids who does whatever he can to get a japanese girlfriend and wear lots of clothes with japanese writing on it? do you skateboard too, or ever dyed your hair orange?
hamano
post #5  on April 13, 2004 - 12:20 PM PDT  
Alrighty, it's time for hamano-sensei to provide expert advice. This lady may be Japanese, or she may be a Chinese girl who learned Japanese for the heck of it. Next time you go there, call her over and say loudly and clearly, "Boku anata no hamaguri nametai yo!" Literally this means, "I want to lick your clam!" but a Japanese girl will know that this has a deeper meaning.

If she is Japanese, she'll turn beet-red and give you a good kick in the cojones, so wear a cup. If she is actually Chinese and just knows a little Japanese, she'll say, "Sorry, we don't have any clam dishes today!"

If this doesn't work, come back to this thread and I will give you plan B.
sinisterguffaw
post #6  on April 13, 2004 - 12:20 PM PDT  
> On April 13, 2004 - 12:07 PM PDT dh22 wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> BTW, are you becoming one of those annoying little anime kids who does whatever he can to get a japanese girlfriend and wear lots of clothes with japanese writing on it? do you skateboard too, or ever dyed your hair orange?
> ---------------------------------

Maybe. What's it to ya?

Actually no. I tried skateboarding once when I was about five. Didn't work out. I've never even owned a pair of rollerblades. One month ago I didn't have any sort of clothes with japanese writing on it. I did have a DBZ wallet, which was a gift, but for some reason, the writing is Korean. Then suddenly I went on a spree and I now have four shirts with Japanese on them. That's all.

And as cool as it would be to have a Japanese G/F, I'm not one to care what ethnicity she would be. Simply having someone to hang out with is good enough for me.

I do sometimes tint my hair silver for a day or two though. But it's not noticeable.
dh22
post #7  on April 13, 2004 - 1:26 PM PDT  
> On April 13, 2004 - 12:20 PM PDT hamano wrote:
> ---------------------------------
Literally this means, "I want to lick your clam!" but a Japanese girl will know that this has a deeper meaning.
>
> ---------------------------------

I think anyone, in any language, would know what THAT means.
markhl
post #8  on April 13, 2004 - 2:19 PM PDT  
SinnyG.. why don't you kill two birds with one stone and make a shirt that says on the front...

"Hey cute girl in the chinese restaurant.. wanna go out on a date?" (ask hamano for the kanji)

and on the back.. (also in kanji)

"By the way.. Why are you working in this chinese restaurant if you are japanese?"

and on your custom matching underwear, you can put hamano's clam phrase.. of course, you'd have to either get a lot of them or be able to predict how far into the relationship you want her to see that :) If she kicks you out after seeing that, maybe you can put a "I'm Sorry" on the back of your underwear to beat her to the punch!


Of course.. the restaurant owner could just be japanese as well and turn out to be her father.. resulting in an embarrasing scene with you being chased out of the restaurant (and "blackballed" from all neighborhood chinese AND japanese eateries).. FYI, quite a few japanese restaurants around here and NYC are owned by korean owners actually.. heh heh So why is a japanese owner/chef of a chinese restaurant so odd? There's Iron Chef Chinese for one!
markhl
post #9  on April 13, 2004 - 2:23 PM PDT  
And regarding your waitress story, I've got one question.

How much tip did you leave her? :)
sinisterguffaw
post #10  on April 13, 2004 - 2:39 PM PDT  
nine dollar meal, two or three dollar tip.

that's usually what I do when I go there. But it's not the waitress I'm after... it's the hostess!

Wait! I'm not after her! you've got me all wound up! I was just relaying a story! besides... she's outta my league! ...or is she? No, no, no. It's against my principles to hit on a waitress or hostess. It's their JOB to be nice, just like AFleming was!
IronS
post #11  on April 13, 2004 - 2:47 PM PDT  
Using kanji is not a sure-fire way of differentiating between Chinese and Japanese since kanji are Chinese characters.
sinisterguffaw
post #12  on April 13, 2004 - 3:21 PM PDT  
I was worried someone might say that.

That's why I brought THIS! pulls out machete
Now you're not so tuff!

Wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah! But she looks japanese! I think...

She's a spy, I tell ya! A hot japanese spy!
jross3
post #13  on April 13, 2004 - 3:37 PM PDT  
Hey, just find out her name. Problem solved! Plus that gets you just a little bit closer to your goal....
jross3
post #14  on April 13, 2004 - 3:38 PM PDT  
of course, if she is indeed undercover, she surely has a new name for cover....
IronS
post #15  on April 13, 2004 - 4:02 PM PDT  
> On April 13, 2004 - 3:21 PM PDT sinisterguffaw wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> That's why I brought THIS! pulls out machete
> Now you're not so tuff!
> ---------------------------------

What? Don't want to hear the truth, do ya?

Why don't you eavesdrop a bit, unobtrusively of course, to hear what language she uses with the other members of the staff? I think that'd be the easiest way.
sinisterguffaw
post #16  on April 13, 2004 - 4:26 PM PDT  
Good thinkin' IronS! Looks like I have some more undercover work to do. I won't be able to get over there until this weekend most likely... unless... maybe I could go there for lunch this week... thursday?

Her english was strangely good. Like TOO good. Like Abnormally perfectly good. Like Universal Studio Tour Guide good. And (if I may be so bold) so kawaii!!!

Maybe she's of 'mixed heritage,' as they say.
markhl
post #17  on April 13, 2004 - 4:30 PM PDT  
> On April 13, 2004 - 4:02 PM PDT IronS wrote:
> Why don't you eavesdrop a bit, unobtrusively of course, to hear what language she uses with the other members of the staff? I think that'd be the easiest way.


You mean none of the chinese dialects could be mistaken for japanese? *gasp*

Btw IronS, won't your cousin mind you helping out sinnyg? :)
markhl
post #18  on April 13, 2004 - 4:31 PM PDT  
All I can say is.. with this amount of input and "planning," there's a lot of pressure on you sinnyg.. from ALL of us at GC Don't blow it! *chuckle*
sinisterguffaw
post #19  on April 13, 2004 - 4:35 PM PDT  
I feel like charlie brown, and I about to attempt to kick the football that lucy is so faithfully holding...

Good Grief.
IronS
post #20  on April 13, 2004 - 5:31 PM PDT  
> On April 13, 2004 - 4:30 PM PDT markhl wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> You mean none of the chinese dialects could be mistaken for japanese? *gasp*
>

Well, I don't think so, but it really depends on sinisterguffaw's ability to differentiate.

> Btw IronS, won't your cousin mind you helping out sinnyg? :)
> ---------------------------------

Oh, I don't think she'd mind. After all, she's stuck here for another 2 years and he's in SLC. Long distance hanging out isn't the same thing as being in the same room (or at least the same state).
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