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In The Theaters
I just saw it and boy does it...
318

What will be the worst movie of Summer '04?
Topic by: ColonelKong
Posted: May 16, 2004 - 10:25 AM PDT
Last Reply: June 25, 2004 - 9:19 AM PDT

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author topic: What will be the worst movie of Summer '04?
ColonelKong
post #1  on May 16, 2004 - 10:25 AM PDT  
I saw trailers for Catwoman and Frank Oz's Stepford Wives remake in front of Troy (which I thought was an acceptable "epic" action movie, but far from great), and those both look pretty horrible. The fact that The Stepford Wives is having post-production problems really is not a good sign, if I had to bet on the Summer movie season's worst offering, that would probably be it. (I've never seen the original Stepford Wives, so it's not like I'm upset by a classic being remake or anything like that) I haven't seen Van Helsing, but the general consensus seems to be that it's a pretty big stink bomb. The Day After Tomorrow probably won't be the worst movie of this Summer, but I've decided to skip anything by Roland Emmerich after Independence Day, and BS natural disaster movies aren't really my thing anyway.

The other upcoming remake that I don't have the greatest feeling about is Jonathan Demme's The Manchurian Candidate, I'd be willing to bet that years from now, the original movie will be remembered, but that this remake won't. It probably won't be too long before we get a lame remake of John Frankenheimer's equally classic Seconds either.
Eoliano
post #2  on May 16, 2004 - 11:33 AM PDT  
Troy was far from acceptable, aside from good costumes and fairly accurate sailing vessels, the art direction fell short on historical accuracy when it came to the sets. Wolfgang Peterson does not have what it takes for action scenes. Furthermore, Brad Pitt is horribly miscast, the romantic scenes were laughable, only Brian Cox amused and Peter O'Toole had one good scene in the tent with Pitt. What's more, it's another indication that CGI is becoming rather tiresome.

If the teaser trailer is any indication, you may be right about Catwoman, though frankly, it's not my kind of movie. On the other hand, The Manchurian Candidate may well be a very worthwhile film.

Also, on the plus side, try to see the winner of the 2004 Donatello for Best Film, La Meglio gioventý/The Best of Youth, Marco Tullio Giordana's epic six hour film covering the last forty years of Italian history as seen through the lives of one family, though it primarily focuses on the story of two brothers. It's a terrific film, and it likely will be one of the years best.
dh22
post #3  on May 16, 2004 - 2:18 PM PDT  
I'd put my money on The Stepford Wives. But, is Garfield coming out this summer? The trailers I saw for that looked pretty horrible. No disrepsect for Bill Murray, who I think is a great choice for the voice, but I think he was directed poorly and it shows in the way he says lines. Not to mention the script looking pretty bad.
Eoliano
post #4  on May 17, 2004 - 7:53 AM PDT  
> Not to mention the script looking pretty bad.

Did you actually see the script? Were you up for a role in the film?
dh22
post #5  on May 17, 2004 - 9:04 AM PDT  
> On May 17, 2004 - 7:53 AM PDT Eoliano wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> > Not to mention the script looking pretty bad.
>
> Did you actually see the script? Were you up for a role in the film?
> ---------------------------------

Wiseguy! The story/script/plot/dialogue/acting looks pretty bad from what I saw.
dh22
post #6  on May 17, 2004 - 9:05 AM PDT  
Actually, I was up for Odie, but I don't want to talk about it.
Eoliano
post #7  on May 17, 2004 - 9:50 AM PDT  
> Wiseguy!

Being a street kid from Brooklyn, I'll take that as a compliment!
underdog
post #8  on May 17, 2004 - 9:54 AM PDT  
It's hard to imagine anything topping Van Helstink in this category, but perhaps Catwoman will give it a run for its (lack of) money.

underdog
post #9  on May 17, 2004 - 9:59 AM PDT  
And I have my doubts about I, ROBOT, as well as THUNDERBIRDS (um...yeah) and AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS, although I doubt the latter will be *that* bad; heck, Steve Coogan's in it!

It's almost not fair to judge Garfield because it doesn't really aim for anything big artistically, but it does look friggin' annoying from the coming attractions.

dh22
post #10  on May 17, 2004 - 10:03 AM PDT  
> On May 17, 2004 - 9:59 AM PDT underdog wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> ... as well as THUNDERBIRDS (um...yeah)
> ---------------------------------

OH!!!! I forgot about that. It looks so completely lame. They totally took the show and turned it into Spy Kids. Eeek!
Eoliano
post #11  on May 17, 2004 - 10:27 AM PDT  
As usual, with rare exceptions, the summer lineup is rather bleak, and no ones mentioned Spiderman II, The Day After Tomorrow and King Arthur...
underdog
post #12  on May 17, 2004 - 10:55 AM PDT  
> On May 17, 2004 - 10:27 AM PDT Eoliano wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> As usual, with rare exceptions, the summer lineup is rather bleak, and no ones mentioned Spiderman II, The Day After Tomorrow and King Arthur...
> ---------------------------------


I actually hold out hope for Spider-Man 2, partially because all the same people (and director) return and because one of my favorite authors had a hand in the screenplay, Michael Chabon (Wonder Boys, Adventures of Kavalier and Klay, Summerland). I may be disappointed... but I can't imagine it being bad.

King Arthur could be anything from surprisingly good to ludicrously bad, I have no idea having only read about it, not seen any clips from it.

So, yes, it could be a bleak summer for the blockbusters -- but there are always those indie, doc and foreign films that sneak in -- and deserve our money more than something with Bruckheimer or Emmerich's name on it.


sinisterguffaw
post #13  on May 17, 2004 - 11:21 AM PDT  
> On May 17, 2004 - 10:27 AM PDT Eoliano wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> no ones mentioned Spiderman II, The Day After Tomorrow and King Arthur...
> ---------------------------------

see post number one.
jstack
post #14  on May 17, 2004 - 11:49 AM PDT  
> On May 17, 2004 - 10:27 AM PDT Eoliano wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> As usual, with rare exceptions, the summer lineup is rather bleak, and no ones mentioned Spiderman II, The Day After Tomorrow and King Arthur...
> ---------------------------------

I am looking forward to seeing what the King Arthur release will bring. This subject has always fascinated me and from what I understand the view this particular release takes on is more from a historical rather than mytholigical perspective. I am curious as to whether they intend to base the character on a completely made up account or if they intend to use existing debateable information on the actual figure.

Staying with the topic I agree that Catwoman looks pretty bad.
Eoliano
post #15  on May 17, 2004 - 12:07 PM PDT  
> see post number one.

eoliano finally cleans his bifocals

Doh!

>King Arthur could be anything from surprisingly good to ludicrously bad, I have no idea having only read about it, not seen any clips from it.

My gut tells me to avoid this one, especially after seeing the trailer -- as the ludicrous tagline The untold true story that inspired the legend splashed across the screen it got a big guffaw from yours truly! Did someone say Grail legend? Not!

Who knows what to expect from Paul Shrader with something like Exorcist: The Beginning...

>So, yes, it could be a bleak summer for the blockbusters -- but there are always those indie, doc and foreign films that sneak in -- and deserve our money more than something with Bruckheimer or Emmerich's name on it.

The indies and foreign films are going to be the determining factor of my summer movie-going, plus a few of the higher profile big-budget films like Manchurian Candidate, The Terminal, The Clearing and Michael Mann's Collateral. I'll definitely go see La Meglio gioventý/The Best of Youth and Twilight Samurai again, since they were two of my favorite films at the PSIFF. I'm looking forward to seeing Hero on the big screen because I missed it last year when it played the festival, and though I've seen the DVD, it really deserves a bigger venue. Anyone for Coffee and Cigarettes or do you lean more towards The Five Obstructions?
ColonelKong
post #16  on May 17, 2004 - 12:13 PM PDT  
> King Arthur could be anything from surprisingly good to ludicrously bad, I have no idea having only read about it, not seen any clips from it.

It might be halfway decent, but I wouldn't get my hopes up too much. I have a really hard time imagining any Summer "tentpole" movie based on King Arthur coming anywhere close to John Boorman's Excalibur. (That film's King Arthur, Nigel Terry, showed up briefly in Troy, and Bob Ringwood designed the costumes for both films) King Arthur was shot by Slawomir Idziak (Black Hawk Down, Gattaca, Hombres Armadas/Men With Guns), so it'll probably at least look good. I generally like Clive Owen, but I imagine that it'll probably be rather odd to see the guy from the BMW short films (and Mike Hodges' Croupier) playing King Arthur. He might give a pretty good performance, but from what I've seen of him, he seems like a much too "contemporary" actor for the role.
Eoliano
post #17  on May 17, 2004 - 12:49 PM PDT  
> I generally like Clive Owen, but I imagine that it'll probably be rather odd to see the guy from the BMW short films (and Mike Hodges' Croupier) playing King Arthur. He might give a pretty good performance, but from what I've seen of him, he seems like a much too "contemporary" actor for the role.

He was quite good as Ross Tanner in the Second Sight TV series, though as you say, he's a contemporary actor, but then consider the director, and King Arthur seems a far cry from the likes of Boorman's wonderfully imaginative Excalibur.

I completely missed Nigel Terry in Troy. Can you please refresh my memory?
Ayato
post #18  on May 17, 2004 - 2:15 PM PDT  
My vote goes to Catwomen. Im hopeing Alien vs. Predator will be good since I love the comics its based off, but it could end up sucking pretty badly...
Cinenaut
post #19  on May 17, 2004 - 2:32 PM PDT  
I'm sure Garfield will be ghastly, but I don't like Garfield in the first place (worst comic strip ever). I'm betting on Wild Wild Robots, oops, I mean I, Robot.
sinisterguffaw
post #20  on May 17, 2004 - 2:57 PM PDT  
> On May 17, 2004 - 12:07 PM PDT Eoliano wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> The indies and foreign films are going to be the determining factor of my summer movie-going...

...Anyone for Coffee and Cigarettes or do you lean more towards The Five Obstructions?
> ---------------------------------

Both! Well, I guess my leanings are more toward Coffee and Cigarettes.

As for foreign film, does anyone know when Jean-Pierre Jeunet will have something new?
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