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GreenCine Tech Talk
Filmmaker
For the aspiring filmmaker. Director, actor, writer, producer? Share the knowledge.
20

Awesomely bad
Topic by: Cosplayer
Posted: August 23, 2004 - 6:09 PM PDT
Last Reply: November 15, 2004 - 9:45 AM PST

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author topic: Awesomely bad
woozy
post #41  on August 31, 2004 - 5:16 PM PDT  
> I think the most horrible movie ever would be to remake Moulin Rouge with Tom Green. Give him creative control of the project and call it "Moulin Rogue"
> ---------------------------------

We could always do "Mulan Rouge". Disney animation and Eddie Murphy voice overs.
artifex
post #42  on September 1, 2004 - 6:48 AM PDT  
> On August 31, 2004 - 5:16 PM PDT woozy wrote:
> We could always do "Mulan Rouge". Disney animation and Eddie Murphy voice overs.

Musical cameos by Boy George and Jaye "Surprise!" Davidson.
Bowwow
post #43  on September 1, 2004 - 7:34 AM PDT  
Maybe we could remake "Freddie Got Fingered" still starting Tom Green only this time, they're talking about a Unix command?
woozy
post #44  on September 1, 2004 - 10:54 AM PDT  
> On September 1, 2004 - 7:34 AM PDT Bowwow wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> Maybe we could remake "Freddie Got Fingered" still starting Tom Green only this time, they're talking about a Unix command?
> ---------------------------------

We could redo "The Matrix" with Keanu Reeves giving a linear algebra lecture.

woozy
post #45  on September 1, 2004 - 11:06 AM PDT  
Or maybe after a Japanese, American, and Korean version we can do an Abstract Algebra version of "The Ring".... Tagline: Before you die... You see the multiplication is associative.

In the sixties I used to chant "If all the groups were free, we wouldn't need ideals".

aw, geez, look what you released...
Bowwow
post #46  on September 1, 2004 - 12:04 PM PDT  
Or one with Morgan Freeman teaching Calculus to an old lady while driving her around...

Deriving Miss Daisy.
woozy
post #47  on September 1, 2004 - 4:19 PM PDT  
> On September 1, 2004 - 12:04 PM PDT Bowwow wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> Or one with Morgan Freeman teaching Calculus to an old lady while driving her around...
>
> Deriving Miss Daisy.
> ---------------------------------

Okaaaay, that one actually made me laugh.


On this note supposed they had released the Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock thriller about the bus that couldn't slow down under the title "Derivative of a linear function!"

Cinenaut
post #48  on September 2, 2004 - 4:25 PM PDT  
Contest -- A young girl creates a contest, but she loses interest and calls the contest off, throwing the wacky contest participants into a confused state. Starring Lindsay Lohan, Matt Dillon and Michael Keaton.
woozy
post #49  on September 2, 2004 - 7:21 PM PDT  
... Starring Lindsay Lohan, Matt Dillon and Michael Keaton.
> ---------------------------------

...as ?

Lindsay Lohan --- ?????
Matt Dillon --- ????
Micheal Keaton --- ????

Um, and, ....shuffles feet embarrassedly... who plays me?

ALittlefield
post #50  on September 2, 2004 - 8:19 PM PDT  
The idea for the worst movie plot ever is easy, it's whatever Madonna is starring in next.
Cinenaut
post #51  on September 3, 2004 - 9:17 AM PDT  
> On September 2, 2004 - 7:21 PM PDT woozy wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> ... Starring Lindsay Lohan, Matt Dillon and Michael Keaton.
> > ---------------------------------
>
> ...as ?
>
> Lindsay Lohan --- ?????
> Matt Dillon --- ????
> Micheal Keaton --- ????
>
> Um, and, ....shuffles feet embarrassedly... who plays me?
> ---------------------------------

Okay, I just stole that cast from the Herbie The Love Bug remake. Obviously, I was thinking of a certain person for Lindsay Lohan's role, but the other two are up for grabs. Hehe.

Cosplayer
post #52  on September 6, 2004 - 9:55 AM PDT  
> On September 2, 2004 - 4:25 PM PDT Cinenaut wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> Contest -- A young girl creates a contest, but she loses interest and calls the contest off, throwing the wacky contest participants into a confused state. Starring Lindsay Lohan, Matt Dillon and Michael Keaton.
> ---------------------------------

I cried in that one
Cosplayer
post #53  on September 6, 2004 - 10:01 AM PDT  
The Matrix Revisited Meets Gilligan's Island The Movie starring Hilary Duff, Carrot top, Kermit the Frog, Madonna, Jack Black, and Eddie Murfie. THE DISNEY MOVIE!!!! Anyone who can summarise this one wins.

And Kudos for staying on track for so long.
Signal30
post #54  on November 11, 2004 - 11:43 PM PST  
Despondent over his unceremonious canning by Toho on the eve of the fiftieth anniversary of the series, the actor who fills the suit of Godzilla snaps. Believing that he truly is the lizard king, the actor targets the Yakuza in a crime-fighting binge as bullets, blood, and scales fly in every direction. Lizard-fu ensues.

In his wake a scary Japanese girl, face obscured by long black hair, spasms along whispering lyrics to the Blue Öyster Cult song. Anyone who joins her in singing the lyrics dies within a week -- give or take. If there is a holiday in the interim, fate may vary. Or their computer crashes. Or their cell phone rings at inopportune times. Or discover that their names now contain umlauts but are not able to figure out how to type that out on the keyboard.

Helmed by Takashi Miike, six sequels follow within the next four months. In the American release, footage of Steve Martin portraying an American reporter named Raymond Burr is inserted.
oldkingcole
post #55  on November 12, 2004 - 2:20 AM PST  
For the 10th anniversary of Dogme95, Lars von Trier initiates Dogme05. It has just one rule: the movie must be shot without removing the lens cap from the camera.

For his first Dogme05 film, starring no one, Von Trier has decided to make a silent movie. It's called Minimalism and runs 2 hrs and 40 minutes.
dpowers
post #56  on November 12, 2004 - 4:31 PM PST  
yu-gi-oh battle movie!!!!!!!! with barbie! - two champion soccer players who fought in a war with the aliens from planet z! live in their nice house under the sea! with crocodiles and piranha! one of them is barbie who gets eaten by an alligator!!! AAAAAAGH! no, barbie doesn't get eaten by an alligator, she wins the soccer game and then gets stolen by time warp and taken to the dinosaur kingdom where she gets a trophy because the dinosaurs know she's cool and then they eat her, too. NO! NOBODY EATS BARBIE! written and directed by children, this film features a climactic card-trading scene in which the heroes are threatened by man-eating party dresses.
Cinenaut
post #57  on November 15, 2004 - 9:45 AM PST  
> On September 6, 2004 - 10:01 AM PDT Cosplayer wrote:
> ---------------------------------
> The Matrix Revisited Meets Gilligan's Island The Movie starring Hilary Duff, Carrot top, Kermit the Frog, Madonna, Jack Black, and Eddie Murfie. THE DISNEY MOVIE!!!! Anyone who can summarise this one wins.
>
> And Kudos for staying on track for so long.
> ---------------------------------

Neo's little brother, Wot (played by Jack Black), wakes up inside the Matrix to find that the evil robot computers have recreated all television shows from the 1950s to the 2010s. Wot finds himself trapped on Gilligan's island. Working with the Professor (played by Kermit the Frog) and Gilligan (Eddie Murphy), Wot constructs a powerful submachine gun out of bamboo, moonshine and coconut husks. Shooting his way off the island, he takes Ginger (Madonna) with him to confront the head agent, Mr. Jones (Carrot Top) in an apocalyptic final battle to put a stop to all the reruns and discover the true nature of The Matrix.
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