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For when your thoughts are drifting to things not so movie, or if you're feeling trivially inclined.
591

You know your postman is watching your DVDs when...
Topic by: artifex
Posted: December 8, 2003 - 9:59 PM PST
Last Reply: August 4, 2005 - 3:29 PM PDT

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author topic: You know your postman is watching your DVDs when...
TOsborn
post #61  on July 29, 2005 - 7:24 PM PDT  
You know your postman is watching your DVD's when...

1. Your credit card bill from Ohio gets to you in two days but Greencine Dvd's take 4-7 days.

2. Your Greencine Dvd's appear to be opened and an orange substance very similar to "Cheeto dust" is causing errors on your "Greencine Adult discs" making them impossible to play.

3. Your Mail carrier "winks" at you and says "I fly that way big boy" (ohhh the humanity)...

4.The post office sends you a letter saying they understood the whole netflix thing but an "Insider" has reported you as a potential person who copies content.

5. The newspaper boy says he knows why you don't subscribe (and references the postman).

6. The IRS OK's your deduction for "Adult Movies".

7. Your employer indicates "surfing the internet and selecting adult movies... while not specifically against company policy, is highly discouraged"

8. You can't get a date without offering a free DivX viewing ... and free bag of popcorn (admitting you won't get the movie if it goes through the post office).

9. Your Postman brings you flowers and a list of favorite movies.

10. You write support more than your family!




ironswallow
post #62  on August 1, 2005 - 12:36 PM PDT  
You start getting DVD-R's of your films labeled sloppily with a black sharpie.
dpowers
post #63  on August 1, 2005 - 12:54 PM PDT  
your account name has been changed to POSTMASTER.
Cinenaut
post #64  on August 1, 2005 - 2:46 PM PDT  
Movies with postal themes (The Postman, Il Postino, The Postman Always Rings Twice, Postman Blues and so on) take three times as long to arrive as other movies.
dpowers
post #65  on August 1, 2005 - 3:24 PM PDT  
arrgh i KNEW i made the postmaster joke before. but it's so HARD to READ BACK a couple pages...
dpowers
post #66  on August 1, 2005 - 3:33 PM PDT  
on days when a DVD is delivered to you, the mail truck stops near your mail box for about 2 hours before the carrier drops in your stuff.
dpowers
post #67  on August 1, 2005 - 3:44 PM PDT  
your DVDs are always delivered in a timely fashion... at 5:30 in the morning.
Cinenaut
post #68  on August 2, 2005 - 8:40 AM PDT  
The GC envelopes arrive with scrawled reviews, like:

"It's the feel-good movie of the Summer!"

"A roller coaster ride of suspense!"

"WTF! SUBTITLES AGAIN?"
cititzenzero
post #69  on August 2, 2005 - 3:49 PM PDT  
I wonder if someone on the "gc inside" could tell us how often they get envelopes that have been taped closed, or have any evidence of having been reopened? I know I've never accidentally closed an envelope and had to open it, so if any of mine arrived that way it should be very suspicious.

I imagine that it's almost never, I think someone would just steal the envelope rather than return it (as I'm sure has happened every time I move to a new location, I always lose the 4th or 5th disk out, once they get curious). Maybe I'm paranoid and have a small sample set.
dpowers
post #70  on August 2, 2005 - 5:15 PM PDT  
once i put a cd in the envelope. other times things didn't stick or i tore off the stickum when opening. it got a little harder not to seal it by accident with the cardboard inside. anyway there is occasionally tape.
dpowers
post #71  on August 2, 2005 - 5:17 PM PDT  
... your dog always barks when you open the envelopes.
dpowers
post #72  on August 2, 2005 - 5:24 PM PDT  
there are tiny pictures of hollywood stars pasted inside the mailbox
EternityOfPain
post #73  on August 2, 2005 - 10:13 PM PDT  
You know when your mailman watched your anime when it gets delivered with priority tape all over it.
dpowers
post #74  on August 3, 2005 - 11:27 PM PDT  
a day doesn't go by when someone's subscription to an entertainment magazine isn't "misdelivered" to you.
Cinenaut
post #75  on August 4, 2005 - 3:29 PM PDT  
Your postman seems a bit down in the dumps when you've finished a particularly good anime series.
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