GREEN CINE Already a member? login
 Your cart
Advanced Search
- Genres
+ Action
+ Adult
+ Adventure
+ Animation
+ Anime
+ Classics
+ Comedies
+ Comic Books
+ Crime
  Criterion Collection
+ Cult
+ Documentary
+ Drama
+ Erotica
+ Espionage
+ Fantasy
+ Film Noir
+ Foreign
+ Gay & Lesbian
  HD (High Def)
+ Horror
+ Independent
+ Kids
+ Martial Arts
+ Music
+ Musicals
+ Quest
+ Science Fiction
+ Silent
+ Sports
+ Suspense/Thriller
  Sword & Sandal
+ Television
+ War
+ Westerns

Member Lists

So Crappy You Can't Look Away!!
List creator: blindswordsman
Created on: August 2, 2005 - 2:44 PM PDT
Description: Movies that sort of suck but you gotta watch anyway..

show images/hide images
movie title related
average rating MPAA rating watch rent buy
Dirty Dancing (1987)
  technically, this is a really poor movie. some minor offences: a movie-of-the-week script, a voice-over intro that stops as soon as it starts, an 80's song title track played and danced to at the climax of the movie ( that's set in the 60's!!). but hey, it's fun and "nobody puts Baby in a corner" man!
Swing Kids (1993)
  "Swing heil" is all i've got to say- - - -funny how the studio never used such an obviously Great pun as a tag line.
Mad Love (1995)
  I actually walked out of this vapid mess of a teen angst movie when i first saw it at the theater. i still have never seen the whole thing. i watched up to the point where drew barrymore pulls the fire alarm at the school so she and chris o'donnell can play hooky. watch it ( and tell me if it gets any better ).
Great Balls of Fire (1989)
  dennis quaid's painfully delivered caricature of jerry lee lewis' rise and fall. i really can't figure out if this was a really crappy movie or a really great movie mauled by one eccentric performance. john doe from punk band X appears. winona is so-so as usual. i watched this at least 5 times at the dollar theater.
The Crucible (1996)
  winona strikes god, the over the top performances are too much ( note to self--add stallone's "over the top" to this list )! winona channels all the acting chops she can muster and emerges with a so-so performance as usual. actually, i am still hunting down an actual print of this film so i can burn it at the stake.
Mommie Dearest (1981)
  you *must* watch this film or i will beat you with a wire hanger. and don't let me catch you making out with some guy at that fancy private school i shipped you off to. oh, while i'm busy yelling at you--go fix a drink for my male companion for the evening, will you? there's a good girl. now say "i love you, mommie dearest". sick sick sick. loved it.
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
  half greatness; half hollywood pap.
Showgirls (1995)
  all that was missing was a cameo by "Saved by the Bell"'s A.C. Slater. I dare you to look away.
Big Top Pee-Wee (1988)
  Horrendously agonizing follow up to the awesome "big adventure" never finds it's feet despite trying really, really hard. i guess pee wee just had to lose his virginity sometime, huh? well, it happens here and it's just plain weird. and where was Dottie?!
Batman & Robin (1997)
  Holy Bat Blunder, Robin! this gay-fest of a bat movie lost all credibility with excessive nipple, crotch and butt shots of the dynamically queer-ified duo. but joel schumacher made it, so what was i expecting? shakespeare? listen for the comic ZING! sound effect when a security guard/cop slips. "batman forever" has a new partner in suckiness.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
  ha ha! made you look. i know..this is a great movie. just seeing if you were paying attention! made you spit your coffee out i bet!
Jingle All the Way (1996)
  i almost jingled all the way out of the theater but something compelled me to stay and watch the Terminator act the fool to appease his spoiled brat son with a gotta-have-it-for-x-mas toy. idiotic. and hypnotic. rumored to screen 24 hours a day in Hell.
Species (1995)
  great for the first 10 minutes, then a descent into crap that never lets up til the laughable ending.
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004)
  a prequel to the 1987 hit, this takes the action a few years previous to Dirty Dancing 1 and features Patrick Swayze reprising his role as Johnny Castle who manages to keep it in his pants and *not* claim the heroine's virginity in this one. mediocre. bonus points for having voice over intro AND outro this time!
Wolf (1994)
  is it horror? comedy? drama? is it greatness disguised as pap? or does it just plain suck? you'll scratch your head at the end of this one. not quite satisfying as crap-art, not good enough to be satisfying in a good way either. a puzzler that should be viewed at least once, especially for werewolf fans. awoooo!
What Dreams May Come (1998)
  a line like "express elevator to hell, going down!" delivered with a straight face insured this films inclusion to the list.
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace (1987)
  really, Superman 2 and 3 *should be here as well thanks to the ridiculous "humor" that nearly ruins them--but no, the honor goes to IV alone--not a bad story---but this one was made with what appears to be 10% of the previous films' budget. terrible effects--look for the wires on NucULAR ( should be Nuclear ) Man as Lex Luthor calls him. yes, NucUlar.
The Outsiders (1983)
  over the top melodrama, a laughable death scene from Matt Dillon and the genesis of the line "do it for johnny!"
Rocky IV (1985)
  too over the top (no pun intended) to be taken seriously-- total fear of the commies 80's paranoia. but what a final bout!! you'll be burning a hammer and sickle by the end..
Rocky V (1990)
  the rocky series literally goes slumming as rocky and family lose his millions and wind up back in the hood where rocky neglects his own son and gets into a major street brawl. only burgess meredith's cameo as mickey's ghost barely saves it with some much needed heart, rock.
A View to a Kill (1985)
  even the great christopher walken fails to save roger moore's swansong as james bond from being a lame-o suckfest. moore looks way past his prime and the "fight choreography" he is made to perform is the worst ever in the bond series. terrible. a must-see. duran duran turn in a top ten bond theme though.

about greencine · donations · refer a friend · support · help · genres
contact us · press room · privacy policy · terms · sitemap · affiliates · advertise

Copyright © 2005 GreenCine LLC. All rights reserved.
© 2006 All Media Guide, LLC. Portions of content provided by All Movie Guide®, a trademark of All Media Guide, LLC.