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Member Lists

List creator: Chiend
Created on: February 3, 2006 - 10:14 PM PST
Description: Top 10 movies that suck beyond belief

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The Master of Disguise (2002)
  Almost anyone who has seen this suckfest can understand why I would put it at the top of the list. Funnyman Carvey has never been more annoying, playing characters who insult, irritate and nauseate the viewer. They padded the lean 70 minute running time with a 10 minute end credit sequence of unfunny Carvey impressions. Pepto-Bisthmol Award winner.
Chungking Express (Criterion) (1994)
  Seemingly popular with the artsy-fartsy crowd, this bomb features insipid characters plodding aimlessly through an amateurish, non-plot movie so boring that an Eric Rohmer film seems engrossing by comparison. Guaranteed to make you hate the song "California Dreaming."
Cube 2: Hypercube (2002)
  Its predecessor CUBE was an inspired Sci-Fi near-masterpiece, but this sequel merely mimics it, preferring instead to substitute the atmosphere of dread and hopelessness with lame CGI special effects and an unintentionally funny plot resolution. Bad enough to give you the runs, it gets my vote for worst sequel ever made in film history.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
  A staple on anyone's worst of all-time list, this trainwreck was partially financed, believe it or not, by the Church of Scientology. With laughable rubber make-up effects, inept dialog and a plot with more holes than a ton of Swiss cheese, it leaves you gaping in disbelief. Travolta has so far been unsuccessful in producing a sequel (whew!).
Town and Country (2001)
  Fraught with countless rewrites, production woes and casting problems, New Line flushed over 90 million down the toilet trying to resuscitate this beached whale, making it one of the all-time top money losers. It's a "comedy" so embarrasing and eye-rollingly unfunny that most of the cast refused to attend its Hollywood premiere.
Pearl Harbor Director's Cut (Disc 1 of 4) (2001)
  Big budget turkey from the Disney turd factory that plays hob with historic facts and serves up a shopworn love story further marred by ludicrous over-acting. Directed by Michael "Let's blow up everything now and worry about a plot later" Bay, it tries so hard to be an audience film you may end up rooting for the Japs. The end credits are 20 minutes!
Fear Dot Com (2002)
  Supernatural horror film that ripped off THE RING immediately following its American release. Deliberately shot under-exposed to make it more "gloomy," it relies on technical gimmickry to deliver the "chills" whenever the script isn't up to the task. A drinking game awaits you whenever Natascha McElhone utters the words, "Oh my God."
Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978)
  Peter Frampton plays "Billy Shears," his girlfriend Sandy Farina plays "Strawberry Fields," and George Burns (!) plays "Mr. Kite." Need I say more? Shamelessly capitalizes on the Beatles' greatest work showing no passion for the material whatsoever by casting every big-name star they could hire. One scene shows them manufacturing the soundtrack album!
Funny Games (1997)
Not Rated
  Ultra-pretentious bullshit about two young guys who kidnap, rape, torture and murder innocent victims for fun. Attempts to be an indictment of our collective social conscience while going out of its way to offend. The conclusion shows the boys meeting their next victim, whereupon one of them turns around and grins at the camera.
Evil Dead Trap (1988)
Not Rated
  This cheap-looking, unscary and uninspired bowel movement from Japan is without doubt the most derivative film ever made. The plot (Evil Dead), the music (Goblin), the script (Suspiria)... even the TITLE is a rip-off! In all honesty, I would rather have Stevie Wonder give me a root canal without anesthesia than sit through this manure pile again.

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