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More Body Hopping   on June 24, 2008 - 8:28 AM PDT   of It's a Boy Girl Thing (2006) 1 out of 1 members found this review helpful   From "Switch" to "The Hot Chick" and beyond, moviemakers can't seem to get enough of body-hopping comedies. IT'S A BOY GIRL THING, another in this long line, is neither the best nor the worst. It's too dirty for its PG-13 rating yet pulls all its punches (not being an "R," it must). Still, there are surprisingly sweet and wonderful moments here, and the two leads and their supporting cast (Samaire Armstrong, Kevin Zegers, Maury Chaiken, Robert Joy and Sharon Osbourne) help matters considerably. What the movie gets right is proving how immensely helpful it would be if the two sexes could experience life in each other's shoes--or, in this case, bodies. Trust me: you've seen worse.

Stealing Cleverly   on June 20, 2008 - 8:49 AM PDT   of Organizm (2008) 1 out of 1 members found this review helpful   Decently directed, -acted and -written, ORGANIZM steals from "Alien," "The Blob" and a lot more and still manages to end up "its own thing." It won't break any records or win any awards, but it will provide 90 minutes of adequate fun, thrills and creeps--even a laugh or two and the odd moment of emotion. Plus, Jonathon Schaech is always watchable, Erica Leerhsen, too; and James McDaniel brings his usual authority and gravitas to the proceedings.

Coming of Age--and Out   on June 18, 2008 - 1:37 PM PDT   of Shelter (2007) 1 out of 1 members found this review helpful   Is the gay movie finally coming of age? SHELTER would seem to answer yes, not because it is all that splendid but rather because of its willingness to tackle themes like responsibility to one's family--especially young children--instead of solely to oneself. We've had about a billion "coming out" movies at this point but few that blend that theme with other parts of life. Being gay (and living that way) is important, all right, but it is NOT everything. And "Shelter" is a film that acknowledges this truth. It is generally well-acted and directed, with the screenplay's "preachiness" kept to an almost-minimum. There are a few whoppers along the way: an isolated spot where the hero and his pal can find seclusion--on a Southern California beach? Sure. And, as ever in a 90-minute movie, resolution comes a little too quickly and easily. That said, "Shelter" still ranks above average.

One, Two, Three-- PRAY!   on June 13, 2008 - 2:10 PM PDT   of The List (2007) 1 out of 2 members found this review helpful   Embarrassing faith-based hooey served up by overweening filmmakers who seem to think that, if they say "pray," their movie will fall into place. Not quite. As slow as arctic molasses and offering everything from witchcraft to a Civil War reenactment, THE LIST contains enough exposition to choke several horses yet still doesn't always make sense: one minute a character can cause a long-distance stroke, later he's suddenly lost his power. Oh, yeah, it must be that prayer stuff. A better-than-this-movie-deserves cast has been dutifully assembled, but the film resists. Malcolm McDowell, Pat Hingle, Will Patton, Mary Beth Peil and Elizabeth and Afemo Omilami--with Chuck Carrington and Hilarie Burton providing the love interest--all try their best to little avail. Cliches triumph, as they are wont to do when originality goes missing. The end credits provide a web link to a certain ministry that promises further information on the movie's "themes." When boredom sets in, should you want to learn more, I'd suggest fast forwarding (in large chunks). One hopes that what the www provides will offer more than the nonsense depicted here.

Another Miss from Mr. Allen   on June 13, 2008 - 9:04 AM PDT   of Cassandra's Dream (2007) 1 out of 3 members found this review helpful   More poor, tiresome stuff from the Woodsman: obvious without being particularly believable. Let's hope Mr. Allen takes to Spain, with his latest Bardem/Cruz endeavor, better than he did to England. "Scoop" had its bright moments, but "Match Point" and now CASSANDRA'S DREAM remain stillborn. It's not so much that I object to the darker view. But if you are going to be dark, be true, too.

Coming in Strong -- then Weak   on June 11, 2008 - 11:22 AM PDT   of The Signal (2007) 2 out of 3 members found this review helpful   THE SIGNAL is actually three joined-at-the-plot movies directed by three different guys. Two of them are crackerjack (#1 is scary/creepy, #2 surprisingly funny) but the third is so-so. Unfortunately the best comes first, near-best is second and the finale pretty much sucks. This is a shame, really, because the totality offers some excellent acting, writing/direction that ranges from truly scary to charming/deadpan/weird, and the visuals are usually appropriate and often much more. I'd suggest watching the three sections in reverse order but you'll want closure (or at least to learn what, in this case, closure means) so I'm afraid that you must watch in order. And be disappointed.

The Attachment of the Watermelon (sounds almost Buddhist, don't it?)   on June 11, 2008 - 9:13 AM PDT   of The Wayward Cloud (2005) 0 out of 1 members found this review helpful   More silliness from Mr. Tsai. And these are NOT what I call explicit sex scenes--despite the description here. But maybe I blinked. However, are there musical numbers from Ming-Liang? Yes! And these are rather like watching Jacques Demy, if M. Demy had gone brain-dead but kept his color scheme and umbrellas. Very bizarre. There are also, as ever with Tsai, some beautiful, nearly-empty vistas of interiors and exteriors, little dialog (I am beginning to suspect that this director simply can't handle it), water (or lack of it) motifs, and--new this time--watermelons. Your biggest philosophical question, after watching the first scene or two (well, really, the entire movie) is likely to be: "How the hell did they keep that watermelon in place? Glue?" Oh, my, don't go there. This one is for Tsai completists--and viewers who like color, fruit (in all its aspects) and a lot of bump-and-grind. And what about THE WAYWARD CLOUD itself? Well, it turns out to be an end-of-movie song with lyrics evidently penned by Tsai to the music of the oldie-but-goodie: "The Wayward Wind" (Remember Gogi Grant? Really? Then you're as old as I am!).

Well, the cover art's enticing....   on June 8, 2008 - 8:56 PM PDT   of Boarding Gate (2007) 2 out of 2 members found this review helpful   For foisting a piece of crap like BOARDING GATE on the international film community I will hereafter and for the next twelve months refer to Olivier Assayas as Jerk. I do this sadly because I am a big fan of "Demonlover," which I think is one of his best. I am beginning to wonder if some of Assayas' early work has not been woefully overrated: seen Irma Vep lately, or Les Destinees? Construction is not this guy's strong suit. Compared to the thrills, shocks and treats of Demonlover, however, his new one fails in every aspect--from the tone-deaf dialog (worse even than Clean: If the guy can't speak English well, then don't try to write screenplays mostly in that language); a plot that appears to have been written, poorly, off the cuff and on the run; and a central performance by Asia Argento that offers attitude and action but little else. From a first-time filmmaker, we would probably not accept this trash. If Jerk thinks he is slumming, well, doesn't that presuppose the possession of a certain degree of talent. You will recognize little of it here. The praise for this film from some circles offers an excellent example of critics writing for each other while leaving their audience in the lurch. (Hmmm? Maybe other critics ARE their only audience?)

Harlin's Back    on June 2, 2008 - 12:18 PM PDT   of Cleaner (2007)   A nice little "B" movie, CLEANER is everything-- good and bad--that the "B" appellation implies. It's short, fast, twisty and well-acted. It's not that original, however (most B noirs were not, either), but it is fun and relatively well done. Director Renny Harlin seems better at churning out movies like this one, "Mindhunters" and "Deep Blue Sea." Maybe it's time to forgive him for "Cutthroat Island" and "Cliffhanger."

A Kind of French Matthew Shepard -- but Very Low-Key   on June 1, 2008 - 8:16 PM PDT   of Beyond Hatred (2005) 2 out of 3 members found this review helpful   BEYOND HATRED is a quiet exploration of a French family's response to the unprovoked hate-crime killing of their homosexual son. The entire film is done in a roundabout manner, with family members, as well as the father of the killers and those acting for both the defense and prosecution all talking to the interviewer. We never see the perpetrators themselves, but as the film slowly builds, you will find yourself riveted, I think, and by the end, when the parents send a letter to the killers now in jail, you'll be happy you watched and learned. Education--reaching out to skinhead fundamentalists--appears to be key. There's no surety that this will work, of course, but since nothing else has, why not give it a try?

Add an 's' and you won't get Tom Stoppard   on June 1, 2008 - 8:02 AM PDT   of Jumper (2008) 2 out of 2 members found this review helpful   What Doug Liman gets right is making JUMPER fast and frisky and not explaining any more than he needs to in order for intelligent viewers to catch on and jump in (as it were). What he gets wrong is having too little plot on which to hang a full-length film. Still, this one is a decently so-so way to waste an evening. You've seen worse, the scenery is great, and you'll get a little Diane Lane.

Talk about a truth-in-advertising title....   on May 21, 2008 - 11:39 AM PDT   of Botched (2006) 2 out of 2 members found this review helpful   BOTCHED is a great idea for a slasher take-off that's been given an uttelry mediocre treatment. It's not awful, but it seldom rises above the so-so. Didn't anyone, for instance, clue the actor who plays the prancing, theatrical villain into how dreadful he is: neither funny, nor scary, nor camp -- just silly and dumb. This is something the director ought to have had a bit of control over. Stephen Dorff gives a nicely measured performance, but he is surrounded by generally less-than-stellar work. If this won the first prize at the NYC Horror Film Fest, what must the competition have looked like?

Black Camp   on May 16, 2008 - 7:13 AM PDT   of Cover (2007)   High camp leaves its indelible mark on the Black film canon via COVER, an unintentional hoot directed by Bill Duke and written by Aaron Rahsaan Thomas (from an earlier screenplay by Aliya Jackson). Things seem a bit 'off' from the first: timing askew, dialog a little weird, performances (and everything else) a bit heavy-handed. Well, you ain't seen nuttin' yet! Spoiler ahead. Really: If you intend to watch this movie, at least skip the remainder of this review so that you will experience the joy of discovering the film's big "secret" in your own good time, rather than at the snail pace of the rather slow protagonist played in scenery-chewing style by Aunjanue Ellis (her writhing/crying/screaming after discovering hubby in flagrante delectable offers a near-perfect definition of the camp style, though this is due as much to Duke et al as to poor Ms Ellis). The subject of the down-low life style in the Black community certainly deserves some decent play time, but this movie doesn't offer it. Conflating religion, fidelity and homosexuality into a heavily melodramatic story, in which--finally--it seems that just about every third black man is a closet gay (I sincerely doubt that this is what the filmmakers intended, but would that we had this much clout!), the movie tries to have it all ways and ends up with egg on its face.

Timely, Mainstream Fun   on May 15, 2008 - 1:31 PM PDT   of Mad Money (2008)   Reviews were so lousy for MAD MONEY that I almost said no. Glad I didn't, because the cast does a good job and the writing and direction are OK, too. Diane Keaton comes back from her worst-ever performance in "Because I Said So" and graces this one with her usual off-kilter charm and grounded intelligence. Katie Holmes and Queen Latifah are fine, too, as are all the men (in supporting roles). No great shakes, for sure, but its relatively clever plot keeps "Mad Money" entertaining -- and keeps you chuckling off and on as it comes up with a number a timely one-liners.

Landmark Gore-Fest   on May 15, 2008 - 1:13 PM PDT   of Inside (unrated) (2007) 7 out of 7 members found this review helpful   I have not heard as much laughter from an movie theater audience (except during an actual comedy) as I did the day I saw INSIDE. Granted this was during an afternoon screening at Lincoln Center's Walter Reade Theater during the FILM COMMENT SELECTS program, and the venue was peopled with mostly senior citizens (like myself) who clearly possessed a sense of humor. Really, what else could we make of a movie like this--that exists mainly to break barriers of blood, taste and acceptable carnage? A slasher film first and last, "Inside" does offer one surprise toward the finale that will pull you up short. But after a moment of pondering, you'll realize that it, too, is merely an excuse for parading before the projector one of the nastiest movie experiences of all-time. And yes, I mean this as both praise and warning. While I don't doubt that horrible things happen to (somewhat) innocent people, they happen without the benefit of a movie camera peering from just the right angle to capture every tingling moment of pain, horror and spurting blood. Still, a landmark of sorts has been achieved by "Inside." French filmmakers Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury have managed to combine extreme suspense, mystery and terror with sheer butchery. Both gorehounds and genuine film fans will likely line up around the block for this straight-to-video release, and it is doubtful that many of them will finish the film disappointed. Yet, compared to something as chillingly effective as Marc Evans' "My Little Eye," this one comes up a mite short.

The Last House on the Right (Wing)   on May 15, 2008 - 12:23 PM PDT   of Frontier(s) (2007) 1 out of 3 members found this review helpful   A (very) long, (very) bloody, (very) tiresome, (very) stupid journey into Muslim women's liberation, FRONTIERS is schlock slasher/horror given an up-to-the-minute rendering by some French would-be cineasts. When two armed men can't manage to shoot one unarmed woman before she rises from the floor and stumbles out out of the room, you know you're in the land of little intelligence. This one had me fooled for awhile, what with some relatively creative chase-and-slaughter, Fascist French/Germans, a nod to the country's rising right-wing and nice wide-screen cinematography of especially ugly scenery. If you absolutely must slake your slasher/terror appetite, you'd do better (somewhat, at least) by renting "Inside."

The Unusual   on May 13, 2008 - 7:42 PM PDT   of The Guatemalan Handshake (2005) 1 out of 2 members found this review helpful   For film fans who demand something different, taking a chance on THE GUATEMALAN HANDSHAKE may prove rewarding. However, there is "different" accompanied by depth, content, character and connection. And then there is simply "different." GH provides the latter. It drove us relatively crazy, proving in the final analysis almost completely frustrating. But, boy, that cover art is something else! It's beautiful, rich, old-fashioned and welcoming. It pulls you in. The movie, however, is hugely disappointing. It pushes you away. My companion sat there growing angrier by the half hour, finally exclaiming: "Whoever made this movie should not be allowed to make another one!" I tend to be more lenient, and so I watched quietly and waited. I still am. It's not exactly that Mr. Rohal doesn't let us in; with each new character introduced, we keep coming back into his film, eagerly. But he never really connects things with any overall vision. Sure, little connections are made, but they seem paltry against the too-often charmless, tiresome people and random (to put it mildly) events. I believe many viewers will eventually grow tired and annoyed at their inability to connect. There's little to take home, post-viewing. If the unusual alone is enough for you, give The Guatemalan Handshake (wonderful title!) a shot.

Fea   on May 12, 2008 - 6:17 AM PDT   of Bella (2006) 3 out of 6 members found this review helpful   So very life-affirming that you may want to run screaming from the room, BELLA is a shock, to say the least. This is the film that won the People's Choice Award at the 2006 Toronto Film Fest? What "people" were these? Have they ever, over the last ten years, turned off their TV sets or taken a break from their telenovelas? I ask because, while I have seen many worse films, I can't quickly recall a more mediocre one. From the first moment, when the narrator gifts us with a bit of wisdom from a dear relative that turns out to be something most of us will have heard twenty times already (it was very nearly the title, not to mention the theme, of Julia Sweeney's lovely documentary "God Said, Ha!") to the second, third and onward moments filled with tiresome exposition and enough tears to sink the Titanic, everything--story, screenplay, direction--is tired and secondhand. The even-more-tired film techniques used by director Alejandro Gomez Monteverde are simply annoying and unhelpful. Showing us snippet after snippet of the BIG MYSTERY EVENT that happened to our hero grows ludicrous early on because we've already figured out what the event was. The cast is able and quite attractive but this is not enough to warrant a full-length film devoted to piling up clichés as though they were pearls of wisdom. Spoiler ahead: Even more bizarre is the movie's positive push for adoption over abortion, after serving up its least pleasant character as a prime example of the former. (Of course, he sees the errors of his ways pre-finale. What a crock!) If you're in the market for a decent Mexico/USA co-production (of which, I hope, we'll be seeing more in the years to come), try "La Misma Luna." Or for a clever, entertaining Spanish language film made here in the USA, watch "Ladrón que Roba a Ladrón."

One Big Nosebleed of a Movie   on May 6, 2008 - 1:57 PM PDT   of In the Blood (2006) 4 out of 4 members found this review helpful   Its credit sequence makes IN THE BLOOD look promising: short, sharp, slashy and creepy. Unfortunately nothing after this minute or two lives up to that level. Lou Peterson's film is full of phoniness, coincidence, lack of follow-through and sheer silliness. With a screenplay this poor and direction little better, the actors do what they can. It's not much. The film's "gay" angle may draw some viewers, but there's little here that they'll have not seen done before--and better.

Bi-Sicksual   on May 6, 2008 - 1:53 PM PDT   of Sick Nurses (2007) 1 out of 1 members found this review helpful   The lead doctor of the Thai treasure SICK NURSES looks like he might graduate from high school next year. The nurses under his care spend their time preening, playing "patty-cake" and binging/barfing to beat the band. The film's first moments plunge us into the naughty deed that gets our crew into big trouble, and the remainder of the movie is spent seeing that a kind of loony-tune justice is meted out to one and all. The horny high-schooler turns out to be as fond of guys as of gals, and the hospital in which he labors is one of those that possesses no staff at all save him and his nurses--particularly at night or when bad things begin to happen. There are a few fun effects along the way, and lots of blood. But it is all so silly and intelligence-free that you can just lie back and giggle. Apichatpong Weerasethakul it ain't. Though I admit there were times during the film that I found myself wishing A.W. could steal a trick or two from this playbook. Its 80-minute length, for starters.

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