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Blade: Trinity back to product details

Needs a LOT of Sharpening
12345678910
written by talltale April 22, 2005 - 2:19 PM PDT
5 out of 5 members found this review helpful
Let's hope, let's pray that BLADE: TRINITY truly marks the end one of the stupidest franchises in cinema history. It's getting so that when, at the beginning of an action-hero movie, you see that bit of animation culminating in the MARVEL logo, you know you're in for a bad, boring, special effects-laden, low intelligence-level time.

In this 2-hour-plus endurance test, the bad guys discover the whereabouts of the good guys and try to kill them, and then the good guys discover the whereabouts of the bad guys and try to kill them, and then the bad guys discover-- Oh: you've figured it out? Congrats: you're smarter than the moviemakers. Wesley Snipes had better start planning a new incarnation before he gets much older; the rest of the cast dons "attitude" in place of ability--especially Parker Posey, who acts just like her usual downtown girl but with fangs (though Ryan Reynolds is cute with the National Lampoon-level insults, and his buffed body is swell to watch). And who ever imagined that Natasha Lyonne could become a middle-aged character actress so quickly?

On a certain level, the movie tries to be a critique of the Bush administration (really), but it's just too stupid to carry this off. (When a psychiatrist asks Blade who the President is, he gives a nasty, one-word answer; the city appears to harbor more vampires than humans, yet the official word is that vampires don't exist. By buying into this obvious hypocrisy, the populace is clearly going against its own best interests.) A break from the idiocy can be had by listening closely to the subsidiary players and discerning who's from Canada (yes, it was filmed there) by their pronunciation of the word "out." Other than this, movie fans, you may want to use that fast-forward button.

12345678910

(Average 4.84)
141 Votes
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