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Cremains (2000)

Cast: Lilith Stabs, Lilith Stabs, Debbie Rochon, more...
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Studio: E.I. Independent
Genre: Horror
Running Time: 120 min.
Languages: English
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This title is currently out of print.

This straight-to-video, no-budget movie comes from E.I. Entertainment and stars Lilith Stabs with scream queen Debbie Rochon in a collection of T & A-riddled horror vignettes all told by a creepy funeral director. The segments are titled "The S&M Killer," "Confessions," "The Town," "Vampires," and "The Cremainder," featuring everything from human sacrifice and lesbianism to vampires and sado-masochism. ~ Matthew Tobey, All Movie Guide

GreenCine Member Reviews

What a Trainwreck by markoff5 December 16, 2004 - 1:16 PM PST
2 out of 2 members found this review helpful
I joined Greencine in order to avoid taking $20+ gambles on movies I'd never seen. So thanks Greencine, for saving me from buying this drek.

My rental was based on Debbie Rochon's participation. However, her "role" consists of some voice-over work that sounds like it was recorded with a $5 microphone underwater. While she is speaking the viewer gets the pleasure of looking at an old codger "acting" (which apparently means drinking lots of water). These scenes are the wraparounds for vignettes that have almost nothing to do with the overall story.

Beyond this annoyance, the vignettes themselves suck. They manage to seem as if they last hours while being 15 minutes long. Minutes on end are spent watching someone drive; not a car chase, just driving. The same with someone walking through a cemetary; not being chased or menaced, just taking a stroll. This movie is at least 60% padding (I came up with this figure because I watched much of the movie on double speed and was STILL waiting for something to happen). I can't figure out how the filmmakers convinced a few attractive women to appear naked in this thing. Blackmail? Drugs?

I admire the effort to make a film on no money, but with a lame story and few passable actors you would think this would have at least been tightened up in the editing, focusing on the few decent gore effects and the eye candy. Alas, no. Avoid at all costs.

GreenCine Member Rating

(Average 3.60)
15 Votes
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